Inner Turmoil

by Brady Arnold

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credits

released January 15, 2005

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about

Brady Arnold Dayton, Ohio

I am a DIY solo artist, making music since 1993. The style of music is progressive, pop, industrial, and experimental. When I say DIY, I really mean it! I record myself, I write my own stuff, and I play all my own instruments. Sometimes I even build the instruments too! ... more

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Track Name: Trying to Leave
Written May of 2004

I'm trying to chose the words carefully.
Cos I'm not at all what I used to be.
I said before I don't want to dream of you.
But now it's me in your dreams. Nothing I can do...

And I'm trying to leave but you keep me locked away in the dark.
And it's hard to breathe because I'm drowning inside your frozen heart.

And now we're face to face, and there's nowhere left to run!
You have to let me go! Just look at what you've done!
A dream of ghostly love

Wake up, wake up, wake up...
Just try to move!

I'm moving around your house, but I'm chained to your bed.
But your isolated away in another room instead.
Cats are on the prowl clawing at my stained clothes.
I'm moving over a mess to reach a door that's closed.

And I'm trying to leave but you keep me locked away in the dark.
And it's hard to breathe because I'm drowning inside your frozen heart.

But now the sun chimes in revealing your passing age.
I move to a different dream, but still we're face to face!
And nothing will replace!

And I'm trying to leave cos I'm feeling sick inside the dark.
Never let me free from your cold and lonely heart.
Running through a maze just wanting to be free.
It's dark and strange in here when you're moving over me!
You're moving over me!
Track Name: Lovestale
In the night I can't escape what I fear.
Another dream of you cold and crystal clear.
It's the same dead end I'm always hanging by a string.
It's the same old thing I can't escape inside a dream.

These words you hear, but you just don't understand.
The music drowns me out; sinking in the sand.
Will my message ever get on through?
Will these words ever resonate in you?

I go invisible; you do not hear what I say.
I don't exist to you; I only fade away.
Everybody takes a piece of you.
Everybody gets a piece of you.

My days are cold, and the nights are dark and grey.
I'm tired of watching you; I got to break away.
I'm always falling into places left unseen.
I'm always calling no one there to rescue me.

So you think you control the game?
No such thing if I've chosen not to play!
Are you feeling out of place with me ever-changing face?

So you think you have control?
Take everything and lose control!
Because I'm seeing through the lie, and I'm seeing through you.

If there was something new for me to see.
But it's just the same old ways that be.
It's getting hard to breathe, it's getting hard to see.
And I don't want you standing close to me.

If there was something you could say to me
to make me change my mind once more.
Just need to find the door, I've had enough for sure.
And I don't feel like living anymore.

So you think you know the night.
You can't leave here until you get it right.
Did something change while in a dream
when you were sleeping through the night.

Walking though my ways of fear.
Never understanding what you hear.
It was all meant for you, but you will never know...

If there was something new for me to see.
But it's just the same old ways that be.
It's getting hard to breathe, it's getting hard to see.
And I don't want you standing close to me.

If there was something you could say to me
to make me change my mind once more.
Just need to find the door, I've had enough for sure.
And I don't feel like living anymore.

I've reached the end of me, there's nothing left to say.
I cannot carry on; start to fade away.

No one believes I lived a life full of pain.
Trapped inside this emptiness. Auf Wiedersehen!

They never taught me how to love, they raised me with hate.
They sent me on a path of tired and desperate fate.

All that I wanted was taken from me.
Trapped in myself, cannot break free!
Left it behind; a safe place in mind.
Wasting my time as my life passes by!

Get me out of this nightmare! Don't want to be here anymore!
Track Name: Recurring Dreams 2
Sitting there awake, cannot get to sleep.
Spirits still awake in the recurring dream.
Recurring themes drowning in your mind.
Coming to the surface to break apart all time.

Polarizing parallels, wanting everything.
All the hopes and dreams spiral into nothing.
Drinking in the dissolution; echoes of the past.
Ripples in time are finally catching up at last.

Sleeping with the TV set, receiving waves of fear.
Voices of the dead come crawling across the years.
The smoke of the poison is filling up the room.
The vast waste of resource is signalling our doom.
Track Name: Eight Years
Written June of 2004

Something inside me will never let you go.
I always blame you for my pain and my sorrow.
You took me out on a cruise to make me bleed.
I haven't found new love since you placed your fear in me.

Eight years passed, but it feels like yesterday.
The day your love went cold; the day you ran away.
You made me feel like there was something wrong with me.
I haven't been the same, cannot move so free.

Back through the corridors, just one time for me.
Going into the past to find the key to set me free!

Old Sheppard road that I walked to seek the truth.
It only lead me down to him and you.
What were you thinking when you made me come for the ride?
Did you want to make me bleed just one more time?

Back through the corridors, just one time for me.
Going into the past to find the key to set me free!
I tried to forgive you, but I never do succeed.
I'd satisfy myself just to make you bleed!

So what were you thinking?
What was going through your mind?
You should have just left me so far behind!
I thought I was dreaming.
I thought I was in love.
But now I'm left with my head in my hands
and I guess that I was wrong!

Get me out of here! Oh just take me from my fears.
Get me out of here! Can you wash away those years?

I'm writing a letter, and I hope it gets to you.
I hope that this time our sentence will be through.
Locked in a prison that exists inside my mind.
Before I move on, I want to show you one last time.

Back through the corridors, just one time for me.
Going into the past to find the key to set me free!
I tried to forgive you, but I never do succeed.
I'd satisfy myself just to make you bleed!

So what were you thinking?
What was going through your mind?
You should have just left me so far behind!
I thought I was dreaming.
I thought I was in love.
But now I'm left with my head in my hands
and I guess that I was wrong!

Get me out of here! Oh just take me from my fears.
Get me out of here! Can you wash away those years?

You could've concealed it, but you made it plain to see.
That you were onto something new, and already over me!
I thought I was dreaming, but you made it clear to me.
That I was the one falling into a love that was never meant to be!

Get me out of here! Oh just take me from my fears.
Get me out of here! Can you wash away those years?
Get me out of here! Oh just take me from my fears.
Get me out of here!

Will I ever let you go?!?!?!?!
Track Name: Autumn Comes
Written in October of 2004

Autumn comes, the cold winds blow in time to light the fire.
A view from the hill to the wondrous scene under a tall church spire.
Colors turn, turn to gold and blow across the fields.
Night has become longer than day, and it's starting to reveal...

I remember the leaves falling from the sky.
Colors of fire that would turn our eye.
Summers' ghosts they were waving goodbye.
And the warmth we felt by the fireside.
A dream of winter and a harvest moon.
Eyes of the night starring back at you.
Plans we made in the month of June.
Never to come always falling through.

Dry your eyes it was just a dream. Time to face the truth.
The moment must pass, the lesson you'll learn, and you'll make it through.
They meant you no harm by what they had done. Will you ever know?
Escape the pain of summers' ghosts before it starts to show.

I remember the time we were out in the fields.
Sharing a love I believed to be real.
Summers' end was the end of our time.
And all that remained falling into a rhyme.
A bitter winter and a cry for you.
Nothing there that would help me through.
Eight years passed, but it's still the same.
The day you took your love away from me.
Track Name: Stori (keep it down)
Written in December of 2004

Too much time had passed us by.
The moments slip through the needle's eye.
An isolated silent cry goes without you to pacify.
It would have been so different you see.
Without the things they had said to me.
The stories told on my loneliest days.
Of how you gave your love away.

The truth is kept away from you
because of what you put me through.
You'll never know how I long for you.
I wish you knew that my love was true.
You put it out it was on display.
I never felt such disarray.
The damage of the stories told.
And now I must return to the cold.

Why can't you see? I thought that you were meant for me
But now I know. We are something that will never be.

Keep it down, down. Don't let it out.
Keep it down, down. Don't let your secret out.
Keep it low, low. Don't let it show.
Keep it on the down low, I don't wanna know.

There was a life for us, but now the time has gone.
They turned me away from you, and
I wanted to prove them wrong.
But unfortunately they were right, and I never felt the same.
You had your chance to play, but you never knew the game!

Keep it down, down. Don't let it out.
Keep it down, down. Don't let your secret out.
Keep it low, low. Don't let it show.
Keep it on the down low, I don't wanna know.

Why can't you see? I thought that you were meant for me
But now I know. We are something that will never be.
You pass my eye, and I see the picture in my mind;
Of you and him, and this is where our stori ends.

Too much time had passed us by.
The moments slip through the needle's eye.
An isolated silent cry goes without you to pacify.
It would have been so different you see.
Without the things they had said to me.
The stories told on my loneliest days.
Of how you gave your love away, so:

Keep it down, down. Don't let it out.
Keep it down, down. Don't let your secret out.
Keep it low, low. Don't let it show.
Keep it on the down low, I don't wanna know.

Why can't you see? We are something that will never be.
Why can't you see? We are something that will never be.
Track Name: The Final Dream
When all of your friends and your family has gone away.
There's nothing in the world to keep you from the fray.
You slip out into the darkness into the heart of the night.
Into a place where no one knows; far away from fright.

When all the world is asleep, and there's nothing left to say.
There's nothing that surrounds you, nothing stands in the way.
From slipping beyond the bounds of life into the land of the dead.
Where all the toxic rivers flow into the seas of red.

But if I told you a story about the end of the world
where must of us would die!
With the guns and the bombs and the lava flows.
It's the final suicide!

Oh you can't see it coming, but it's waiting there.
Oh that day is coming, you'll see they'll be no one left!

Nothing doing in the darkened streets when the clock strikes 3am.
Nothing is real and I cannot tell precisely who I am.

Snakes of fire breathing hell in the streets in the city of Los Angeles.
Earthquakes, floods, and the lava flows; better run it'll rattle your brain to this.

You can't see it coming, but it's waiting there.
Oh that day is coming, you'll see they'll be no one left!

Melting into a liquid state; your body is no more.
Adjusting to a new way of life; we've finally crossed the shore.

Oh can you feel it? We're shooting through the stars!
Oh can you take it? We've become one with the stars!